Lyric, my baby boy, is a little over 1yrs old. He such a sweet little fellow, always ready to laugh and play with anyone who has a great spirit. He’s lively, independent, and always ready to swat you off when he feels he doesn’t need help. As my son started getting older, I started noticing some differences in my baby boy. Non-verbal, melt downs, poor eating, inability to connect with emotions etc. I mean, at the age of 1yrs old, my son should have a few words, typical toddler words, however, that’s not the case. 
As I am seeing these differences, I am expressing my concerns to others. The only thing I would get in return is, “don’t claim that” or “ain’t nothing wrong with that boy”. For a moment, everyone had me feeling like I was being irrational. Yes, my oldest has challenges, however, no one signs up to have a child with (dis)Abilites. We don’t sit and wait for challenges to arise and glorify the issues at hand. We all want typical children, however, as a mom, I have to be realistic so that my son can get the proper help so that he can have a typical life.
Being a mom to a child with special needs makes you hypersensitive. You see things that other’s may blow off as just “toddler behavior”. You know when there is something not quite right. I contacted an organization called Babies Can’t Wait so that we can figure out what is going on with my baby boy. Babies Can’t Wait (BCW) came out and handed me a checklist called the MChat. This checklist is to help establish if the things I am seeing are relative to autism. 
As I am sitting here filling out this MChat, all I can think about is, how I am once again here. I was just doing this for my oldest son Anthony Jr. 11yrs ago, I was filling out paperwork to start services to help him as much as I possibly could. How is it that I am back here filling out this paperwork? How did I get here again? What did I do to deserve this again? All of these questions are running through my head, however, I had to keep going, keep pushing past my emotions so that I can get the help Lyric needs.
The word Autism scared me. I know Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy, however, Autism is a new world. Yes, I know of it and about it, however, I never had to directly deal with it within my own family. I never had to fully understand the depths of this challenge. It’s different than Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy, this is a new world that I now have to dig into and try my best to work through and fully understand so that I can help my son the best way possible.
Days after I filled out the paperwork for BCW, I cried crocodile tears. How did I become the lucky one to have 2 babies with special needs? Yes, Anthony is more severe than his little brother, however, I didn’t want to have to go through the emotional challenges again. I have just gotten to a place of acceptance about how my oldest became (dis)Abled, now I have to go through the emotions again. I have to endure therapy and make the necessary adjustments to help my son so he doesn’t become a hermit. How did I get here, is all I keep asking myself.
As days go by, I am starting to accept things as they are. The struggle that I am still working on is coping, having to be creative in how I interact with Lyric so that every moment is a therapeutic one for him. I know how critical early intervention is and I need to be on top of it, however, I am very tired. I want a little piece of typical life, I want the same conversations everyone else has.
I love my boys and I will do anything for them, even if that means over extending myself so that they can have the best life possible. I am fortunate to have my life, I am just doing the best that I can to navigate the best way possible so that my boys won’t have to live captive to their challenges.
Be Blessed
Libra Hicks
Founder / President
Our Children’s Story
